OLD TAPES in Blended Families

THROW OUT THOSE OLD TAPES, OLD STORIES, OLD MESSAGES!
God doesn't make mistakes. Ask Him to renew you.
The past is past. His Grace and Mercy are new every morning!

SCRIPTURE ASSURES US...
'Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.'
LAMENTATIONS 3 : 21-23

Here's a shout out to those 1974 high school classmates with whom I shared 8 track tapes. Who could ever know that in 2009, I be warmly recalling and 'blogging' about Mike Behne's black and white Chevy Impala, hanging out with some 'best buddy names you ever have heard of' like "Behne", "Kozy", Scholzy", "Leroy" and "Doley", and that we drove around in listening to Bachman Turner Overdrive sing 'Takin' Care of Business'. On a eight track tape. Now...I am "Taking Care of GOD'S Business". We've come a LONG WAY from those days on the country roads of Nebraska. Miss those guys, but not our antics. Look up 'stinkin' thinkin' in a dictionary ...picture of us.

Sometimes 8 track tapes, reel to reel recorders and now even cassettes sometimes seen so out of date and irrelevant, that we laugh about them. Why can't we do that in life?

Often the wounds and brokenness of divorce carry over to the new marriage and fully discovering your 'fresh start' blended family joy. Often, historic, out-of-date opinions and 'commentary' from former spouses, or parents, or friends, at the workplace, or even churches keeps coming up. We 'hear' and let the 'old tapes', the old stories, the old messages dampen our spirit and our new family.

The "old tapes' messages come in the form of 'well, she'll never change' or 'he's a loser', 'he can't handle being a Dad' or 'she won't last with that guy' or 'he's always late' or 'that step-parent never plays with the kids' or 'teacher, call me, cause she'll forget' or whatever those 'old tape' sounds like.

They are not YOU. Maybe it's the OLD YOU...but YES YOU CAN start anew. We believe in YOU! God believes in YOU!

We say at The Bonded Family..."Throw out those OLD TAPES".
God offers you a fresh start.

Don't let your past cloud your future. Make amends. Say your sorry where you need to. Call your former spouse, children, friends, whomever and ask for peace. Foremost Pray and truly ask God for foregiveness and His promise of a second chance. God is the place to go for second chances. Some of us He gives so many chances we wonder just how big is our loving God. Grace is amazing. We are going to make mistakes. Only Christ was perfect. God's promises are real. Count on them.

Become the NEW you. Don't beat yourself up over "old tapes". Throw out the 'old ways' and make your life an iPod-like exciting new message. Then 'download' positive and encouraging messages from the Bible. Take God's word into your heart. Pray daily, more like three times a day for your marriage and family. THEN...WATCH WHAT HAPPENS! You WILL SEE great and wonderous things...and say 'Wow! How'd that happen?'

satan (never give evil a capital letter) wants you to fail. Remember John 10:10 'the evil one comes to hurt, kill and destroy, but I (Christ) have come that you might have LIFE and have it more abundantly'. Take this to heart. Don't let the enemy get you to hear in your heart, mind and soul that your aren't worthy of God's love, His promise of a new day, and the creation of a new and WONDERFUL FAMILY!


In closing...these words from scripture grabbed people's hearts for centuries as much as they were made for YOU this very day to hear.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." 2 Corithians 5 : 17

You ARE a NEW creature. The old (tapes) are gone! Rejoice.


For Coaching from a member of The Bonded Family team, this summer we are offering a special Blended Family Coaching Program. For $90, we'll extend a survey for your 'Today We Start Fresh' review and analysis, one 40 minute get acquainted visit and 3 follow-up coaching session for 20 minutes each. Total coaching time 100 minutes for $90. We'll listen, assess, encourage, suggest practical ideas and pray together.

Radio Program for Blended Families

THE BONDED FAMILY begins Radio Ministry
BLENDED FAMILY TODAY is now a blog and radio show.
J.J. JASPER, Christian Comedian and Blended Family Dad this week!


Join us for what is sure to be the most joy and fun-filled program of the year. WE GUARANTEE BELLY LAUGHS!

This Sunday, May 24th, Memorial Day weekend at 8 am CST, J.J. Jasper will be our guest. You know J.J. as a morning radio show host for American Family Radio, heard globally via www.afr.net. J.J. travels the country providing great, clean and belly laugh generating humor. You'll hear some on BLENDED FAMILY TODAY this weekend.

Visit J.J. Jasper website at: (what else??) www.jjjasper.com


To listen to program in Kansas City metro area, tune to 1510 AM. Worldwide (tell your friends in blended families) you can hear it via streaming audio LIVE at www.1510.com then click LISTEN LIVE button.

If you have a question you want answered, or want to support the radio program, write us at radio@thebondedfamily.com

OUR TOPIC THIS WEEK FOR THE SHOW: "VACATING" (vacations), FUN and FAMILY LAUGHTER are a gift from God to help you BOND as a step-family. You'll love this show. Great preparation for summer schedules.

Visit our radio program archives at: http://blendedfamilies.podomatic.com
OR...merely use the below resource:

BGRANDPARENTS May 3rd, 2009 - GUEST Dr. Dan Erickson BLEN...

The Bonded Family Ministry Podcast

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OUTFLUENCE Author and The Bonded Family Friend Al Betz Wins National Award

OUTFLUENCE's Nationally Recognized Author, Speaker and Friend to The Bonded Family named 'Author of the Month' for April.


As Rebecca and I are always on the outlook for people, books, ideas and resources to serve blended families, we came across in 2008, a gifted and gracious man Al Betz, who had written a book called OUTFLUENCE a Better Way to Influence.

As you pray and search for ways to help your blended family grow and 'bond' together, I am sure you find encouragement often when you discover something special. God is a God of 'no coincidences'. He can line up chance meetings and events. Have your 'antenna' up and watching for God's hand in your lives, your marriage, your children and for your blended family. Keep in communication with God daily through prayer, and just 'watch' and 'observe' what happens.

Al Betz was indeed a 'no coincidence' that we see God had aligned. To serve others. To help us serve blended families. Marriages and children. Sometimes you meet people and think it's God's amazing favor that you met them.

In the Old Testament, the book of Habakkuk, Chapter 1, Verse 5...

Look among the nations! Observe!
Be astonished! Wonder!
Because I am doing something in your days--
You would not believe if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:5 (NASB)

Habakkuk, a little known prophet who only has three chapters and is often missed in the Bible. It's in the Old Testament, go to the book of Nahum, and take a right. Kind of like the 'under the radar' demographic of blended families....nobody often notices or cares....(but God does). Habakkuk cried out to God in his frustration with the way things were going in 'his land'. Just like we want to cry out when things get tough in 'our land'. We encourage, keep looking up, trusting God, watch and be amazed... and as that saying you often hear in the world actually came from the Bible... God can show you things 'that you would not believe, even if you were told'. Trust in Him for your family.

Back to meeting Al Betz. As you are reading this, stop and think about in 2008, who is someone you think was placed in your life by God to encourage, motivate, share interests with and just overall have you remember to recognize the blessing from the Lord and lift up a prayer saying 'thanks Lord, for aligning our path to meet this person.' Also to that person it's important to let them know you appreciate them by sharing 'I'm so thankful we met'. For us, Al and Kay Betz are friends like that.

The OUTFLUENCE book is written for both secular and faith-based audiences, business and personal, young and old, and is filled with the clear foundation of what we came to see in Al and Kay. Their hearts, intentions and spirit is to serve. To be 'servant leaders'. From the first email and phone exchanges, we discussed that it 'wasn't by coincidence' that God aligned our steps and that we could blend our resources to serve families. Stay tuned in 2009 to see how OUTFLUENCE may serve you as blended families.

AL BETZ was named Author of the Month for April 2009 for his work on OUTFLUENCE by Business Summaries. Business Summaries is an outstanding service to help people, businessmen or families, who are busy and on the go, catch the basics and key points of new books that are popular reads. Nationally recognized authors and leaders have book summarized there.

Author of the Month for April 2009: AL BETZ (here's what they wrote)To read interview with BizSum.com, CLICK HERE.

Learn more about Al, purchase OUTFLUENCE, sign up for his "Pearls" messages by going to www.outfluenceonline.com

And as always...keep trusting that GOD CAN take your step-family 'from Broken to Blended to Bonded!'.

We (Wii) Are Family ! GAMES TOGETHER Can Raise Up Blended Family Life! Even improve VISION!

A VIDEO GAME THAT WEAVES A BLENDED FAMILY TOGETHER!
Wii CAN MAKE BLENDED FAMILY TIME BONDING TIME.

There is all kinds of research that set forth caution and warning of too much video game time for youth. Likewise I've read studies that the games can actually help in some cases mental quickness and acuity. XBox, PSP, PS2, Wii, Nitendo DS and others do seem to grab a large slice of America's children's attention. Many parents limit video game and TV time, and that is wise counsel.

It's Christmas time. More opportunity to bond as a family. Use it or lose it. We encourage you to make the best of the time together.

At The Bonded Family we enthusiastically suggest blended family game time. Treasure the time. Plan for it. Let it be a special time unique to your family. A TRADITION for your family. Perhaps play a game prior to a Family Summit time (we talk about this in conferences). Use the time as a catalyst to unity and fun. Sometimes everyone 'playing' together can help bring down 'strongholds'.

We believe a family that plays together and prays together....... will stay together.

The Bible holds solid counsel to check where our treasures, our hearts, our eyes and our spirit's are. Attitude is everything. Trust God to change hearts and attitudes.

In Matthew 6, verses 21 and 22 holds a message to blended families. To treasure one another by 'seeing' one another and the 'whole body' of the new blended family with good eyes, not critical or negative eyes.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light."
MATTHEW 6 : 21-22

God provides an important message to any age family member there. Parents and Children. Where are our eyes focused?? Importantly in the Christmas season, or any holiday time, we'd like to encourage with this message and include Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles or other people who sometimes impact thinking. If our EYES work to 'look for the good' instead of the shortcomings or flaws, then the 'whole body' of the new family will be more filled with happiness.

In our household, and we have heard from others, that video games that include many family members - children and adults - actually brings laughter, joy, teamwork, playing honorably,fun rivalries and foremost... BONDING MEMORIES.

We own a Wii game. Four controllers, means four people at once. (We are not endorsing one 'system' over another just complementing Nitendo Wii for it's games and inclusive ability) Besides enjoying and seeing via family game time that I still posess "age defying lightning quickness" -- hmmm...along with humility? :-) -- we so enjoy the laughter and joy that comes from the 'time together'. There is nothing better than high fives and belly laughter to bring people together. That is the key...the TIME TOGETHER. TIME TOGETHER can equal BONDING MEMORIES.

Now...there can sometimes be reluctant participants mostly spirit of the heart, stubborness, fear, etc. Pretty much anything the evil one can muster against your family. Look UPward and ask God, then look INward and see what your heart holds.

Remember John 10:10 (grab your Bible and check it out). satan wants to take out your family, wants to hurt you and destroy your family life. YOU CAN WIN THIS BATTLE. Jesus came that we might have Life! And He means for us all - when we trust in Him - blended family life!

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WASHINGTON DC AND FAITH-BASED FUNDING FOR BLENDED FAMILY EDUCATION

VOTE FOR CONSIDERATION OF FAITH-BASED INITIATIVE FUNDING FOR BLENDED FAMILY EDUCATIONAL EFFORTS

We always seek to further the awareness of the challenges often faced in blended family life. President Bush started the FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES program and funding arena. President-elect Obama has expressed publically that he sees the value and believes in the work of ministries that are making a difference in America.

Rarely do we reach into Washington DC, yet we do always encourage people to vote and make their voices heard. That is part of good citizenship that all parents should encourage their families to be a part of.

Presently, even the U.S. Census doesn't even specifically track step-families in America. They do not extend exacting questions. Awareness of the uniqueness of situations is important to improving the nation.

We join a host of other organizations nationally, whether faith-based or secular, encouraging the government to become more aware of the unique family dynamics and situations of step-families, and consider them in funding programs that educate and improve society. We do know of Congressmen who have extended an ear to hearing more.

We have worked with the Faith-Based Initiatives office in Washington DC, and know they hold interest in step-family programs. We simply would like to see that continue.

Click below and vote.

Blended Family - HOPE + The Will to Win!

Family Experience, Sports, HOPE and Faith...
Pat Williams Knows Blended Families !

To find success and blessings in your Blended Family...observe, listen and learn from those who have proven the ability to rise up, and are sharing their success. Watch for the level of PERSEVERANCE AND HOPE in their hearts. A 'Will to Win' that comes from God, because the trust is in God instruction, not man's.

We have experienced in our own family great joy at times... and... due to the normal dynamics step-families often face... we have experiences some trying times. Be encouraged. That's normal. Be strong and courageous. Trust God. You will get through it.

Romans 5, verses 3 to 5 reminds and encourages us when times get tough... "...but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." .... ROMANS 5 : 3-5

I had the privilege to spend some time and get to know Pat Williams in 2005 during a Ministry Conference that he spoke at. Pat Williams is the Executive Vice President of the Orlando Magic Basketball team, an author of 50 books, AND in a blended family. I didn't realize prior to that visit with Pat that he, through re-marriage and adoption, had walked through the dynamics of large families and is a terrific Father to 19 children. A truly encouraging and entertaining book for a fun read is You've Got to Be Kidding!: Real-Life Parenting Advise from a Mom and Dad of Nineteen Find it and buy this book at our online Bookstore for The Bonded Family

We spent time talking about our ministry - The Bonded Family - and our heart and passion for serving Blended Families. Our vision is to have Pat Williams one day speak at a major conference. Pat Williams understands step-family life. He has experience bringing together children from different backgrounds and circumstances. He also, foremost, knows that FAITH is the key principle to instill into a FAMILY.

Faith best can provide the 'will to win'...because the 'Head Coach' - the Lord God Almighty knows the best ways to win. The Bible is the 'instruction manual'. It is THE BOOK. Pat Williams knows 'the Book' (Bible) If you also reference and dig into THE INSTRUCTION BOOK...you'll soon rejoice in knowing that we always win in the end. Your family can too. Do not quit. That ROMANS 5 :3-5 Scripture will come to life. Watch out for discouragement... the evil one wants you to fail...God wants you to succeed in your new family relationships. We do too. Listen to this video clip from Pat...and be encouraged!



Pat Williams website is http://www.patwilliamsmotivate.com/
We encourage you to check it out. Pat is a man who loves the Lord, his family, and those around him. He is grounded and gifted and wants to encourage others. You will be blessed by any of his books.

Also, visit our blended family ministry site when time allows. www.thebondedfamily.com

If your church or community would like to host a B3 Conference - from Broken to Blended to Bonded - contact us at info@thebondedfamily.com

God Can Refresh Blended Families!

Rain Refreshed the Morning Sky.
GOD CAN Refresh Your Blended Family!

This morning as I was driving, I noticed the crispness of the air, the sparkle of the morning as the sun was rising. The clouds were parting. The sun was shining brightly through. It was a 'Wow' type moment. The previous night's heavy rain had cleansed the atmosphere. It reminded me of the promise that God's mercies are new every morning. That HE can shine brightly through the step-family struggles of life. If we trust Him and seek Him.

Just then the song 'Who Am I' by Casting Crowns came on. The video is below. There I was, smiling, singing, basking in the new morning sun and the song. I was pumped up. God was giving me a special encouragement treat that moment.

Be still for one moment. Focus on the words of this song.
BE BIGTIME ENCOURAGED !


WHO AM I? That God would care to help me through my struggles. Catch ME when I'm falling. Know my hurts and troubles. Care. Want to be there for me?

At The Bonded Family we work with families all over the country to set forth HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT through growing in one's faith and trust in God. Given the current economic challenges, the struggles are heightened. Now, more than ever, there needs to be a Rock to stand on.

God is the best way to take a step-family...from Broken to Blended to Bonded. If we BOND to God, lift up our issues to Him, it is easier to see the 'new morning sun' and understand it. No, all the trials, challenges, hurts, struggles and pain won't just go away. We understand that. Rebecca and I still feel weekly the fallout and the consequences of family life apart from how God had originally planned for it. What you can be assured in, is that His plan for us, for you and your family, is a good one if we ask Him to help us in our new circumstances. This I can tell you. I am weak. HE is strong. If the worldly solutions were the better answer, why would the divorce rate in step-families hover at 70%, while the divorce rate of husbands and wives that pray TOGETHER daily be less than 10%. Do the math. :-) Trust the Lord.

God is the God of second chances. We can focus on the trouble, or Him. It's like as a child playing tag, and there is a base to run to where you are 'safe'. God is that 'base', He is the Rock. His Word is true. His promises real. His strength and protection are there if you call upon Him. He is in the fresh start business. The miracle business. We have seen it. We have lived it. YOU CAN TOO.

BELIEVE AGAIN ! Visit us at www.thebondedfamily.com

If you have friends or family in step-family situations in NW Arkansas... call them and tell them about Nov 14 and 15th. See next blogpost about the National Center for Fathering Championship Fathering Conference.